2020 proved to be a challenging year for many devoted couples as well as the global economy. Hollywood was no different. Some celebrity couples found that solitude facilitated their relationship, but others failed the strength test and chose to end their marriage. So what is at fault for your divorce.
Celebrity couples who divorced in 2020 include Dr. Dre and Nicole Young, Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green, Olivier Sarkozy and Mary-Kate Olsen, and Vanessa Hudgens and Austin Butler. On February 19, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian filed for divorce, further “amazing” the start of 2021.
Of course, the celebs’ divorces had nothing to do with quarantine. Its role in exacerbating long-standing family issues, however, cannot be understated.
In 2020, more clients wanted to prepare their divorce documents online, according to one of the biggest online divorce companies in the United States. Greg Rublev, the owner of a well-known online divorce agency, claims that the number has nearly tripled since 2019. Even in 2021, the problem has persisted.
“The pandemic has become the “perfect storm” for many married couples, especially for those whose relationships were close to breaking up before the lockdown. For many of our clients in 2020, quarantine became a catalyst for getting divorced”
– Greg commented
However, even after making the decision to divorce, some couples are not psychologically ready for it and are unable to cope with the stress and unpleasant feelings that come with the divorce or its aftermath.
According to Greg, it becomes crucial to keep in mind emotional well-being when dealing with all the legal documentation. The reason for this is that a psychological divorce, which is frequently more difficult to handle, frequently follows a legal one.
What Happens to Divorcees?
In her 1969 book On Death and Dying, Swiss-American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross outlined the five phases of mourning.
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
These phases reflect how people typically feel when adjusting to change. Any change can be linked to some sort of loss to some degree. As a result, the five-step paradigm aids in comprehending how individuals respond to them.
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote,
The five stages are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.
For a long time, psychologists have come to the conclusion that divorce evokes nearly as intensely unpleasant feelings as the loss of a loved one. These five phases of sorrow are likely to be experienced by ex-spouses if divorce is viewed as the end of a partnership.
Denial
Another name for this is shock. You can think that you are merely an outside observer, that everything is a dream, and that you are not a part of the process. A person frequently acts instinctively during this time, attempting to ignore reality.
Anger
After that, you get irate with both yourself and other people. You might hold your partner accountable for their behaviour and yourself accountable for your own transgressions. Additionally, the fact that your life seems to be over but everyone else’s life continues on as usual can irritate you.
Bargaining
One ponders whether something could have been altered or the future could have been predicted. In an ideal world, this stage would help someone realise that there is nothing they can do about it. However, if it doesn’t and the person remains in this state for an extended period of time, they can revert to the denial phase and become caught in a vicious cycle of bargaining, rage, and denial.
Depression
It occurs when you realise that there is nothing you can do to alter the situation after denial, rage, and bargaining have passed. It also results in apathy and a decline in self-worth. A person prefers solitude and avoids social interaction.
Acceptance
A person learns to live without a spouse and starts to adjust to their new existence. Their interest in those around them increases when the mental discomfort subsides. You expose yourself to novel concepts, passions, and encounters. Hope replaces pain, and you realise that there is life after divorce.
Not everyone agrees that the Kübler-Ross grief model is helpful, despite the fact that it explains how people cope with life transitions. These five phases, according to some critics, significantly oversimplify the vast spectrum of emotions that humans might experience. Nonetheless, the author stated in the introduction of On Death and Dying that it was a generalisation of reactions rather than a textbook. Depending on their experience, people may call them by different names.
What, then, is the secret to a fulfilling life after a divorce?
One year after her divorce from Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon stated in an interview with Parade magazine that it’s very simple to assign blame. There was no space in her life for hate or negativity, so she didn’t have time for it.
These remarks, which were said over ten years ago, convey the most important lesson for divorce recovery: in order to start anew, one must put all the negative behind them. Nothing is impossible, even though it’s a challenging endeavour that requires a lot of time and work.
Regaining emotional control is essential to finding harmony and creating a well-defined plan of action while you’re rebuilding yourself after a romantic breakup. However, everyone finds a different technique to reach this equilibrium.
Remy Dowd, a qualified family and couples therapist and licensed clinical social worker, disclosed that there is no predetermined timeline for this process. Everybody has a unique journey, and individuals should realise that before they can proceed, they must look after themselves.
Many psychologists advise including the following components in your divorce recovery plan, despite the fact that it is difficult to come up with a recipe that works for everyone:
- Therapy
- Post-divorce communities and groups
- Communication with friends or relatives
- Self-development
- Sport
- Hobbies
- Reorganization of the home environment
And most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you feel you aren’t coping with stress.
Concluding Note
It is not as frightening as it may seem to go through the post-divorce phase. All you have to do is give yourself time to sort things out. You should live with optimism for a better future and not retreat into oneself.
